


The Melancholy of Hope and the Ebullience of Hopelessness

by XenobotKin



Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure tri., Digimon Adventure: Last Evolution Kizuna - Fandom
Genre: Arguing, Bisexual Male Character, Boys In Love, Boys' Love, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Digimon Adventure: Last Evolution Kizuna Spoilers, Dinner, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Gay Character, Growing Up, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Pansexual Character, Post-Time Skip, Scream fight, Temporarily Unrequited Love, That comes after they're adults, They're teenagers for everything but the last few chapters, Time Skips, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Which take place after Last Evolution Kizuna, two night stands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28796052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XenobotKin/pseuds/XenobotKin
Summary: It comes out that Takeru has a crush, who is Taichi, who it is obviously hopeless to be in love with. Then, years later, once they're adults, maybe Takeru should've held onto that hope
Relationships: Takaishi Takeru | T.K. Takaishi/Yagami Taichi | Tai Kamiya
Kudos: 13





	1. Check yo Texts

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who just binged all of Digimon Adventure tri. and Digimon Adventure: Last Evolution Kizuna? This guy!!

_“Are you positive there’s no one you like?”_ Hikari’s last text was running through Takeru’s head pretty soundly. It was five hours ago, and he kind of just left her on read, but he’d have to answer sometime. Patamon was asleep on his bed. He really should also be asleep on his bed. It’s 12:04 a.m. on a school night. _If mom finds me awake I am literally mincemeat. Just slice me up and feed me to Agumon._

Agumon. _How I want to spend more time with Agumon. Taichi would like me better. Taichi would notice me. Taichi would…stop. Just stop._ He wasn’t new to the idea of liking boys. Despite Yamato and Hikari’s constant teasing, he was never into the all the girls who expressed interested in him. But one day, not long after defeating Ordinemon and Ygdrasil, he saw Taichi while they were all at the beach and it just…whap. _I absolutely should not and cannot have a crush on Taichi. There is no ending where it works out well for anyone. Taichi would feel awkward and probably feel sorry for me and wouldn’t like to be around me. Yamato would be protective of me and distrustful of Taichi, or maybe just find me stupid and immature. Hikari might be really upset with me. Iori probably will find me to be less cool and independent._

Takeru sighed. _Keeping it all in isn’t really healthy, but it is what I always do. I probably should at least share something._ He stared blankly at the computer game he’d been playing. _I’m glad Digimon have their own video games now. Patamon, Agumon, and Elecmon suck on this team, but who said I want to play well?_ He looked back to his phone. _I guess I can be a tiny bit honest._

“Yes there’s someone I like. Don’t wanna say who though. You’ll be too shocked. Do you like someone?” _Send._

His phone responded instantly. “No but I wouldn’t say so in the group chat either Takeru.” His eyes widened and he looked closely at the phone. _DigiDestined Dumpster Fire. CRAP I TEXTED THE GROUP CHAT!! WHY WAS THAT OPEN?_ Takeru frantically tapped on the message. “ _Delete for you.” NO!!! DON’T DELETE FOR ME DELETE FOR THE WHOLE GALAXY!!_

“No one check your messages. Don’t back read.” Takeru began frantically sending single periods to try and force the message way into the top.

“Too late lol” Typed Daisuke.

“GO. TO. BED. THIS. INSTANT!!!” typed Yamato. Takeru sighed and scrolled up. _Seen by everyone. Of course all the highschoolers are up. Iori even? Ken? Miyako? Of course Daisuke is._

“Takeru, Iori, Daisuke, Miyako, Hikari, Ken, you guys need to go to bed earlier. Especially you Iori-chan.” Sora typed next.

“:D :D :D :D!! Takeru! Who do you like!” Taichi!!!! _Don’t you ask!! I want to confess to you you dumbass!_

Takeru closed his phone, and slammed his face against his keyboard. _I am not functional during nights._

“Takaishi Takeru if you are awake in there I am going to take Patamon away for a MONTH. I will be the DigiDestined and you will doing dishes every single day for a month.”

Takeru slammed the power button on his desktop tower, turned off his lamp, and threw himself into bed, cuddling Patamon like he does at night. _Please don’t come in please don’t come in please don’t come in please don’t come it Patamon is my emotional support Digimon._

Natsuko didn’t come in, she was too busy levelling up her Renamon in the mushroom level.


	2. It's Really Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miyako and Daisuke can't leave well enough alone

Takeru was trying to avoid people during class. That was not easy with Miyako and Daisuke passing notes to each other from behind him.

Takeru was blushing from the thought of who they were speculating. He turned slightly to see Daisuke staring a hole in his head. As soon as the bell rang he tried to make a break for the door into the hallway to lunch, only to be cut off immediately by Daisuke and Miyako in the lunchroom.

He sighed. “Can’t you guys go bother Ken?” He tried to slither around them, but neither would let him get away, both locking an arm with him and dragging him into the vending machine corner.

“You’re going to confess to Hikari! Aren’t you?!” Daisuke had pointed a finger directly into Takeru’s face. Miyako smacked his hand away.

“Daisuke! Be nice, he has every right to have a crush on her too!” Miyako was doing her best to be respectful.

“Guys, its not Hikari, okay? She’s my best friend, but we aren’t in love or anything.” Miyako looked at him suspiciously.

“Uh huh, sure. There’s only a few options, if we’re talking about DigiDestined.” Miyako was now the one with a finger in Takeru’s face. “Its Hikari, Sora, Mimi, Meiko, or…” Miyako blushed and held her hand in front of her mouth. “Oh, Takeru? Is it so? I’m sorry, I don’t know if I’m ready to answer you just yet.”

Takeru threw his hands in front of his face and waved gently, cold-faced. “Miyako, no, no no no. It’s definitely not you! It would _never_ be you.” Miyako’s faced soured in annoyance. “No offense. It’s…uh okay, look, it’s not…” _I don’t want to lie directly, I’ll feel more guilty about that later._ “It’s not one of the DigiDestined girls, okay?”

Miyako put her hands on her hips. Daisuke nodded. “Okay! Good! Then you’re off scot-free for me! Can’t have my assistant-assistant team leader encroaching on my terf!”

Takeru giggled. “What is the pecking order in your head Daisuke?”

“I’m Team Leader! Ken’s Vice leader, then Miyako is assistant team leader, then you’re assistant-assistant team leader. Hikari can’t be in the chain of command because she’s my future girlfriend. Iori’s an elementary school student so he has no rights.”

Miyako slapped Daisuke upside the back of his head. “You’re a loser, Iori is more mature than you, Ken’s way stronger, and Takeru has more experience. Oh, and I’m smarter. So yeah, you’re only the leader out of pity.”

Daisuke turned to her and growled. “Shut up cabbage head!”

Miyako slammed the bottom of her fist onto the top of Daisuke’s head. “I am going send you into the Digital Ocean with nothing but a piece of flotsam!”

Takeru giggled. “You guys are so energetic.”

Miyako turned back to him, and furrowed her brow. “Daisuke, please leave so I can talk to Takeru in private.”

Takeru began to frown slightly. _Oh god, what’s she want now?_

Daisuke gasped in annoyance. “Excuse me? Fine! Talk to him all you want!” Daisuke stormed off to Ken, who was sitting all by himself, feeling to awkward to walk up and talk to his friends.

“It’s definitely a DigiDestined, Takeru.”

Takeru facepalmed in despondence. “It’s not Sora, or Mimi, or Hikari, or you, or Meiko.”

“Then it’s one of the boys.”

Takeru looked up in shock. “W-what would ever make you think that?”

Miyako leaned back against the Pepsi machine. “I’d kind of suspected it for a while. I talked to Hikari and Mimi about it. Hikari doesn’t want to speculate, but she wouldn’t be surprised if you were gay. Mimi really, definitely knows you like boys. She says she ‘feels it in her heart.’ She says you’re way too nice to boys and way too teasing and blunt with girls. Says it’s against your personality to tease someone you like.”

Takeru looked down and to the left, and wrung his hands. “It’s not a simple thing. It’s not like it could be, given the circumstances.”

Miyako nodded. “I really am not sure who it is, if it’s a boy. I’m positive its not Ken, you’re not really super fond of him.”

“He’s a good friend! I don’t dislike him.”

“I didn’t say that, but he’s not your favorite. You wouldn’t have a crush on Iori, you’re not the type to like someone so much younger than you.” Takeru nodded in affirmation. “Everyone else left…yeah, that would be complicated. Daisuke absolutely wouldn’t reciprocate. He’d be really awkward about it. Not homophobic or biphobic, or whatever. But he’d feel uncomfortable and unsure how to act around you.”

Takeru laughed nervously. “I want to say its not him, but if I deny anyone you’re one step closer to figuring out who it is, which I _don’t_ want.”

Miyako squinted. “Koshiro definitely likes someone else, and definitely would feel awkward, and would not be open to dating a middle schooler. Taichi and Joe would be even worse. Three or four years is a lot older at our age. They wouldn’t be mean to you, or crush your feelings very bluntly, but I’m sure you know they’d give a firm rejection, and probably try to distance themselves from you, to keep from leading you on. Which would leave you probably in more pain then you’re in now.”

Takeru exhaled in frustration. “Since when are you so smart with emotions? You’re supposed to be good with computer programs.”

Miyako squinted in anger. “You can be good at both!” She sighed. “Look, I know you’re probably struggling. But whatever its with, I’m here for you, okay? We can talk more if you need too.”

She waved, and walked away, leaving Takeru to stand alone in exasperation.


	3. Notice it Smally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taichi invites his friends to watch his game

“Wanna come see my game? I can treat you to food after word. KFC?” Taichi had wrapped his arm around Takeru’s neck and was putting some weight on him, causing Takeru to lean down a little.

“Taichi, uh, yeah, I’m free.” _Oh god. Oh god his arms are kind of firm. I didn’t think they’d be firm. Soccer is a leg sport._

Joe, Sora, Mimi, and Iori were considering the question too. They had encountered each other in the schools’ shared parking lot. “Yeah. I’ve not got any tests coming up for a while.” Joe shook his head and held his hands up. He’d been trying to make more time for his friends.

“Yeah! That sounds great!” Sora had nodded gleefully, followed by nodding from Mimi.

“Sure thing Taichi! I’ll make sure not to order anything too expensive.” She giggled with a wink.

Taichi’s lips pursed. “I’m not treating _you_ guys to food. Just Takeru, cause I’m his supportive senpai.” _Oh my god. ‘Senpai.’_ Takeru had flashes of him gently calling Taichi ‘senpai’ as he confessed his feelings to him under cherry blossoms. _STOP._

“I’m your underclassman too.” Iori wasn’t really offended, he was just being technical.

“Well I guess I can pay for a kid’s meal too.” Taichi teased Iori, not really having interacted with him much, it felt like a safe way to make him feel included and respected.

“So, since I’m your dear underclassman, are you going to be devoting your match to me or something” Takeru was struggling not to beg for scraps with Taichi. _I want so badly to feel like he cares about me. I want so badly for him to love me. That’s so selfish._

Taichi laughed out loud. “Okay, sure. You’re my good luck charm, and then I can tease Matt about how you love me more than him.” _‘You love me.’ ‘You love me.’ ‘You love me.’_ Takeru was thankful he didn’t blush easily, but his smile was very warm.

Sora stared curiously at Takeru, before smiling widely. “You know, we could ask the others if they want to go. Although I think everyone eating at KFC will make it a little crowded, huh?”

Mimi sighed. “Sora, you try too hard to make everything everyone-inclusive. We’re allowed to hang out in smaller groups too. I actually hung out with Daisuke by himself recently.” Joe, Sora, Iori, and Taichi all held their mouths agape.

“Mimi, what could you and Daisuke possibly have in common to enjoy spending time together?” Joe wasn’t trying to be rude, but Mimi and Daisuke were both people who’s boldness made him slightly nervous.

“Actually, fashion! He loves cool looking clothes, so he asked if I could make him a new cooler jacket, and actually, I invited him to help make it with me, and it seemed like we had a lot of fun.” Mimi giggled. “He’s really good at the sewing machine, actually.”

Iori smiled. “That’s really cool Mimi-senpai. I’m not surprised you too got along, you kind of have similar personalities.”

Takeru gently grabbed Taichi’s hand. His excuse was to pull Taichi’s arm off him. But he really, _really_ just wanted to touch Taichi’s hand. “I think its kind of less personal when we all hang out together. I mean, 13 people at once can make it hard to have a meaningful conversation. Unless we’re strategizing about how to save the world or something.”

Taichi giggled. “That’s not on this week’s schedule. Pretty sure that’ll happen in a few weeks.”

Everyone giggled again. Takeru smiled pretty brightly at making Taichi laugh. Joe took notice from his position. “Well, we have group bonding every two weeks anyway. Just the six of us can do stuff together.”

Takeru smiled and nodded, before glancing over to Taichi, who nodded, running his hands through his hair. Takeru hid a smile as he looked at Taichi’s hair move. “Do you think our Digimon will behave while we’re gone.”

Taichi shoved Takeru playfully, making him giggle. “Not a chance. Everyone needs to plan to leave their partner with someone else.” Takeru nodded smiling.

Mimi watched carefully as Takeru nodded, before checking her watch. “Oh, Taichi, don’t you have practice soon?”

Taichi nodded. “Thanks for reminding me!” He tussled Takeru’s hair before running off.

Takeru smiled faintly and waved. “Hey Iori, want me to walk you home?”

Iori nodded stoically. “Yeah, of course.” The two said goodbye to their senpai before walking off.

“Did we all notice the same things?” asked Joe.

“Oh I’m sure we did,” replied Mimi in a sing-song voice.

“Poor Takeru. I hope he reaches out to someone. It’ll make it a lot easier than trying to hold that all in himself.”

“Sora, you’re so kind, maybe one of us should offer our help to him?” Joe was trying to be considerate.

“No, we shouldn’t do that.” Sora and Joe turned to Mimi in concern. “Takeru isn’t used to situations where he knows there’s no hope for what he wants. And he is used to never telling us about his problems. We need to let him come forward to people when he needs to. Besides, he’s never even come out. Us revealing we know will make him anxious.”

Joe and Sora nodded, before the three took off in separate directions.


	4. Desperate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takeru...maybe...don't pour your heart out to an Elementary school student

“Takeru-senpai, I know you wouldn’t tell Hikari about your crush;” Iori’s sentence was already making Takeru nervous. “But I think it’d be okay to tell me. Most people think you and Hikari like each other, but everyone knows that that doesn’t apply to me. I’m also too young to really understand those feelings in the way she does, so it shouldn’t be as awkward.”

Takeru sighed loudly. “Iori-kun, you’re way too mature.” Takeru tried to play it off without confronting the conversation, but Iori was still looking up at him. “I’m not sure I want to tell anyone about it. I’m not really sure anyone would like to have heard it.”

Iori put his hand on Takeru’s. “I think I would like too.”

Takeru sighed. _Am I really going to tell him? He’s in elementary school I shouldn’t try to confide in him, that’s not fair to him. I’m_ his _senpai._ “Okay, okay.” _I really don’t know what else to do. I’m so lost._ “I kind of have a crush on Taichi-senpai.”

Iori looked up, but not really in surprise. He was still holding Takeru’s hand as they walked. “Okay. I knew boys could like boys, but I kind of forgot that things like that that exist can happen to people you know. What do you like about him?”

Takeru could feel himself smile warmly. “I like that he’s so nice to me, and respects me really equally. For a long time everyone felt they needed to protect me. And I get that. I’m three years younger than him, when we went on our first adventure I was basically a baby to him. But now he treats me like just another member of the team. Plus he’s really, really cool.”

Iori nodded. “You guys should date then.”

Takeru sighed and started swinging Iori’s hand back and forth. “No, no we really shouldn’t. I know that to you, three years seems like a really small gap. And honestly, two years isn’t really that huge of a gap at our age. I mean its still big, but its not three years. Three years is really big. If we dated he’d be in college while I’m a first year, that’s really not healthy.”

“Is it not? Huh.” Iori seemed to be processing the information he could. “You could still tell him though. I don’t think Taichi’d be angry with you.”

Takeru giggled. “No, he wouldn’t be. But he wouldn’t like hearing it. It’d make him feel awkward, or maybe guilty, or maybe he’d resent me. I’m not sure.”

Iori looked to the sky. “I see. I guess that really is hard.” Iori smiled politely as he looked up to Takeru. “I think you’re really cool for enduring that Takeru-senpai.”

Takeru looked down and smiled in turn. “Thanks Iori-kun.”


	5. Talk Misinformed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taichi, you idiot, don't assume things that upset others

Takeru was smiling at the KFC as he watched Taichi eat. Joe, Iori, Mimi, and Sora had finished, and gone home, a little tired of sitting there and watching Taichi eat and Takeru try to nibble slowly enough to keep eating at the same time.

“So, how are you doing at home? I heard your mom and Yamato are fighting again.” Taichi was now taking the time to talk to his favorite underclassmen.

“Well, it’s not really ‘again.’ They’re always kind of fighting. But recently mom got mad over Yamato not inviting me to a concert his band was playing at because they served alcohol there. And well…then she got mad cause she didn’t know they served alcohol there, haha.” Takeru was now taking the time to _absorb every minute of alone time with Taichi I can cling to._

Taichi laughed after he put down the remains of his chicken wing. “Wow, Yamato really did good there. So, I wanted to ask this earlier, but never got around to it.”

Takeru lit up a bit. _I like it when he’s interested in my life._ “Who do you have a crush on, Takeru?”

 _I no longer like it when he’s interested in my life._ “O-oh. Heh, wow, that’s pretty bold of you, senpai.”

Taichi shrugged as he sipped his soda. “Really? Oh, we’re both done. Come on, I’ll get you home.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I can walk home myself.”

“No no, not leaving you alone tonight until you answer my question. C’mon, let’s go.” Takeru bit his lip as Taichi walked past him. He stood up and followed him out the door, onto the sidewalk.

“Taichi-senpai. I said in the chat that I didn’t really want to tell anyone.”

Taichi put his hand across Takeru’s shoulders as they walked, squeezing him against him. “Right, you did say that.” _Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh his hands are warm…oh he’s got pretty skin now that I’m this close to his face. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!_ “But you are Hikari? Talking about crushes. Then you say it would shock her if you told her, and ask her who she likes? That’s a pretty clear picture, dude.”

Takeru looked down, a bit despondent. “Uhm. That’s really not it.”

“I’m pretty sure it is. I mean, that’s how I flirted in middle school.”

 _Oh this is horrible. Taichi’s gonna be mad at me cause he thinks I’m moving in on Hikari. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…_ “Hikari and I aren’t interested in each other like that, senpai.”

“Yeah, not sure I buy that.” Taichi’s face was still in a gentle smile. “I mean, I’d rather you admit to it so I can talk to you honestly about it than lie to me.”

“Taichi, I’m not lying, okay? It’s really not Hikari.”

Taichi sighed. “I’m not mad Takeru. Frankly, you’re a great guy. I don’t think I could choose someone better for her. I definitely would prefer you to Davis. But trying really hard to avoid it is kind of…aggravating.”

“I’m not though…” Takeru’s voice was faintly trembling, but he was pretty sure that Taichi couldn’t hear it.

Taichi sighed, much more annoyed this time. “Takeru, look. I just want to talk about some expectations as her brother okay. It’s stuff you already know, I’m sure, but I can’t even get through to you. It’s kind of making me mad that you’re not even going to be honest with me. We’re friends, really good friends, but you playing games is pretty sh—” Taichi was cut off as Takeru rushed in front of him, and grabbed his hands, and looked into his eyes.

“Taichi.” His voice was firm. Confident, but also a bit sad. “It’s not Hikari, okay? If it were Hikari I’d definitely tell you. I’d definitely tell her. It’s not her. It’s _not_ her.”

Taichi looked shocked. Genuinely shocked. Takeru didn’t really plant his feet down like this a lot. He also got the feeling he actually was really wrong in his assumptions. “Really?”

“Yes. I promise.”

Taichi blushed a bit. “Okay. Wow, sorry, I didn’t mean to get all on the offense. I…uh…Takeru, sorry about that.”

Takeru sighed, before looking at the sky. “Sun will set soon. Head home, okay Taichi? See you later.” He walked away with a wave.

Taichi sighed, and waved himself, turning around. “That was dumb of me,” Takeru could hear from under Taichi’s breath.

Taichi didn’t hear Takeru sobbing.


	6. Hikari and Takeru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hikari and Takeru are bestest of friends

Hikari spoke bluntly. “It really isn’t me, huh?”

Takeru turned in confusion before sighing. “Of course not.”

“Yeah. I only thought it might me after niichan really harped on it yesterday. But he came home sure it wasn’t me, and I guess I realized if it was me, you would’ve told me by now. Pretty sure both of us know that we wouldn’t have waited with a burden on our heart for each other.” Hikari and Takeru continued were studying outside on a bench, both doing their best to _not_ pay attention to their Pre-Algebra.

“I’m really not comfortable talking about it. Only Iori-kun knows, and that was because I was certain there’d be no harm in telling him. But telling anyone else;” **exhale** “would really jeopardize stuff. I mean, if I confessed, it’d be a lot more than one relationship getting awkward and confused.”

Hikari furrowed her brow, going back to her homework. “That’s probably a more revealing sentence than you realize. Only of a few of the friendships in our group are contingent on other friendships.”

Takeru shook his head. “Everyone who asks about this seems to have such major psychological insight into my life, can’t you guys be normal friends and just like me cause I have pretty features and am nice?”

Hikari giggled. “Actually I think that’s why Daisuke probably is annoyed with you. Miyako, cause you’re prettier than her.”

Takeru giggled and pointed a pencil at Hikari. “I’m prettier than you too.”

Hikari nodded. “Right, you’re the pretty one, and I’m the competent one.”

Takeru smiled. “So rude.”

The two went back down to their studying. For like, 8 whole seconds.

“Is it Sora?”

Takeru looked up, exasperated. “Hikari.”

“I mean, if you liked Sora, it’d not only make her feel _really_ awkward since she basically sees you as her son, it’d really put you at odds with Yamato and Taichi.”

Takeru rolled his eyes. “Yamato wouldn’t care. He knows when he has me completely outclassed. I’d bet he’d tease about it actually. Probably to lighten the mood. Taichi would…” _I really don’t like Taichi being jealous_ of _me, I want him to be jealous_ for _me._ “Probably just laugh it off. Maybe, maybe try flirt with her less when in front of me. Maybe.” Takeru could feel his mouth fade down just a bit when switching from talk of Yamato to talk of Taichi. _Crud. Hikari can definitely pick that up. Just ignore it Hikari. Just ignore it._

Hikari nodded a few times before looking down, and _immediately_ shooting back up and staring at Takeru.

 _She’s not saying anything._ Takeru scribbled down some equations on his graph paper. _She’s still staring._ He began doodling Patamon. _She’s gonna drive me insane if she doesn’t say something._

“It’s niichan?”

Takeru dropped his pencil and immediately brought his hands to his face and buried it in his palms.

“That’s it. It makes the most sense. You think me, Yamato, and Sora would all be mad. You think Daisuke would be competitive. You think niichan would feel discomfort. It’s him, isn’t it?”

Takeru had really tried to hold it in, but his tears began pouring through his fingers. Hikari reached quickly into her bag and pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to him. “Don’t cry Takeru, please. I’m not upset.”

Takeru wiped his eyes down with her cloth before sniffling. “Sorry. No one figured out yet. I wasn’t sure how it’d go.”

“No one’s gonna be mad if they know. I think they’d feel sympathy. Especially your brother.”

Takeru shook his head. “It’d ruin their friendship.”

“No it wouldn’t?”

“It would.”

“No. It wouldn’t” Hikari’s voice was firmer than usual. “Takeru, tell him. I really don’t know what to tell you other than I’m not mad. I don’t know how to help you with these feelings, but Yamato will.”

“Please, just drop it, okay?” Takeru was wiping away the second wave of tears.

Hikari looked pensively. “Okay.”

The two began studying again.


	7. Screaming Match

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamato loves Takeru, a lot. But he also gets petty, jealous, and cold sometimes.

“Hey.” Yamato gave a finger gun as Takeru walked through the doorway to his and his mom’s home. His feet were on their coffee table.

“Hi. Mom away?”

“Yeah, I’m babysitter for the night.” Yamato twirled his pointer finger in the air. “Woohoo.”

Takeru rolled his eyes with a giggle. “You’re really but at pretending you don’t love spending time with me.”

Yamato pulled his feet off and yelled. “Hey! What makes you think you can always pick me like that?”

Takeru smiled and cocked his head. “I feel like when someone loves me as much as you do, its more fun to constantly bring that out into the open.”

Yamato clenched his teeth and blushed. “Shut up! God, you’re unbearable.”

Takeru smiled hopping over the back of the couch to sit next to Yamato. “That’s why you love me so much.”

Yamato clenched Takeru’s shirt in his first and pulled him to his face. “LOOK YOU LITTLE—” he was interrupted Takeru kissed his nose. Yamato froze, and Takeru smiled mischievously. Yamato pushed him away and wiped his nose. “Would you— can you not— we’re not little kids, don’t kiss me you weirdo!”

Takeru giggled. “Aw, but niichan, I love you.”

Yamato blushed harder and picked up a pillow and began pelting Takeru on the top of his head with it. “Jackass! Don’t say that so sincerely! If you say stuff like that in front of my band I’m stuff you in a suitcase on our first tour!”

Takeru smiled. _God Yamato, you can’t stop giving me great material to embarrass you with._ “So you’re taking me on your first tour? Aw, niichan, thanks!”

Yamato’s face shriveled and he dropped his pillow and tackled Takeru, putting his weight on his upper body as he shoved Takeru’s head against the couch cushions. “I SWEAR TO GOD TAKERU-CHAN!!”

Takeru looked up as soon as the “-chan” hit and began laughing, much to Yamato’s annoyance, who just pulled off him and walked away. “When you and Hikari start dating you’d _better_ be 10 times as lovey-dovey to her so that everyone thinks that’s just how you are.”

Takeru exhaled, in a bit of distress, though he kept smiling. “I don’t like Hikari, niichan.”

Yamato turned around, squinting, before tch’ing. “Well, what do you know. I didn’t see that coming. Well, thank god then. Hikari’s great but I don’t want Taichi in my family tree.”

Takeru’s brow furrowed. “Don’t be mean to your best friend, niichan.”

Yamato rolled his eyes and smiled. “Oh, so you’re gonna give that honor to someone else? Not gonna claim that one?”

Takeru’s face stayed in distress. “Seriously Yamato, he’s your best friend, be nice to him.”

Yamato’s brow furrowed. “What? Why?”

Takeru kneeled onto the couch. “He’s your best friend. And he’s really nice and cool.”

Yamato sighed. “Look, me and Taichi have our friendship the way we have it, okay? We’re buds, but we aren’t as buddy-buddy as you are with…everyone. Okay?”

Takeru sighed and nodded. “Sorry. Sometimes it feels like you’re too hard on him. I mean you really are lucky to have him as a best friend.”

Yamato nodded, and turned on the faucet for a glass of water. “Yeah. I’m the lucky one. Yup.” His voice was a bit irritated.

Takeru sighed in frustration. “What are you pouting for now?”

“I’m not pouting. But everyone always tries to make it so clear that I’m lucky to have Taichi.”

“Who does that?” Takeru didn’t mean to, but his voice sounded accusatory.

“You do.” Yamato didn’t mean to, but his voice sounded cold.

“What’s that even supposed to mean? He’s you’re friend, and I just want you to appreciate him.”

“And if he doesn’t appreciate me?”

Takeru’s voice raised subconsciously. “He _does_ appreciate you, don’t be mean.”

Yamato shook his head in disgust. “God, you really are high on him. Just say you wish he was your ‘niichan’ instead and move on.” Yamato added the air quotes without thinking about it.

Takeru was taken aback, kind of hurt. “Okay, wow, you don’t need to pick a fight.”

Yamato slammed his plastic cup down just hard enough to make a few droplets of water splash out. “You started it! I was joking about how Taichi can be kind of annoying in large doses, I wasn’t trying to seriously insult him. You just had to go out of your way to take his side over mine.”

Takeru stood up from behind the couch angrily. “Don’t be like that! I’m not taking sides!”

Yamato shook his head in frustration and spite. “Yeah, I know you’re not trying to, and that pisses me off. You should be taking sides, and you should be taking _mine.”_

Takeru gave a pfff before crossing his arms. “I shouldn’t have to choose before my brother and my friend.”

Yamato stopped leaning on the kitchen table, now standing straight up, making himself look bigger. “Why not? I care more about you than him.”

“You’re my brother, yeah of course.”

“Do you treat me the same way?” Yamato’s words stung.

“I love you so much, don’t you try and play that with me!” Takeru had put his thumb to his chest when he yelled me in an angry crescendo.

“Yeah, well good. Cause I assure you Taichi doesn’t love you anywhere near as much as you’re trying to make it seem like.”

Takeru stepped back in disbelief at Yamato’s cruel words. “Shut up. Taichi likes me a lot.” His voice wasn’t only angry, now it was desperate too.

“Yeah, he likes all his friends, but its not like you’re his favorite.” Yamato’s words were getting colder.

“I didn’t say I was!” Takeru walked out from behind the couch, closer to Yamato’s face. His words were warm right now, still in shock from that early pipebomb of an insult.

“You sure like to act like you’re big an important to him. And it’s pretty annoying, you trying so hard to suck up to him while ignoring me.”

Takeru grit his teeth and began into a whimpering yell. “You’re such a brat! I don’t ignore you for anyone, and you know that!”

Yamato rolled his eyes. “Okay, sure, keep telling yourself that while trying to fish a single complement from Taichi.”

Takeru stepped up into Yamato’s face, screaming, tears beginning to well up. “Why can’t you just accept that I love you as a brother and him as a friend! Why do you have to make it a competition!”

Yamato’s voice was actually getting quieter, and cutting deeper. “Why do you have to try so hard to get his approval? Is he gonna give you something I can’t provide?”

Takeru’s lip was quivering, and had begun truly crying. “Yeah! Maybe he can!”

“Well he won’t, cause you’re not all that important to hi—” Yamato was cut off by a fist in his face.

Yamato stood their stunned. Takeru was nowhere near strong enough to knock him down, not even close. Yamato’s flinch was out of sheer shock. He looked down upon Takeru’s teary eyed and bright red face. But he wasn’t mad or insulted. Takeru hadn’t hit him since he was a little kid. Yamato was baffled, and was beginning to realize he must’ve really said something bad.

“You don’t need to say that!” Yamato didn’t move as another strike hit his same cheek, this time an open palmed slap. “You don’t need to rub it in!” Takeru begin slapping angrily, slapping Yamato in the face over and over again. But they were sloppy and barely grazing him, and had no impact. “You don’t need to brag that he likes you more! You don’t need to brag that I can’t possibly be as important as you! You don’t need to bully me about it!” Takeru’s voice was beginning to give out to rawness, and it was breathy, and his breathing was irregular and rough. “You don’t need to remind me that I’ll never be enough for him! That I’m too young to be important!” Takeru’s slaps turned into shoving. Quick, barely impactful shoving, over and over again, not even strong enough to make Yamato need to brace himself.

“Takeru…Yamato, guys don’t be so mean to each other.” Takeru and Yamato turned to see Gabumon and Patamon in Takeru’s bedroom doorway. _They must’ve seen everything._ Takeru turned away from Yamato and hurried to his room, pulling Patamon out of the air and snuggling him close to his chest. Gabumon stepped out of the doorway, allowing Takeru to slam the door as hard as he could, leaving Yamato completely stunned and in a state of shock as Gabumon walked up to him.


	8. Yamato does Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamato doesn't let mistakes settle

Takeru had buried his face in his pillow crying, gripping the edges of it. Patamon gently headbutt his head.

“Takeru, are you okay? I’ve _never_ heard you guys fight like that. What’s going on?” Takeru turned slightly to reveal his face to Patamon, his face ugly with tears and mucus.

“I’m just…snurh…I’m really sensitive about some topics, okay?” Patamon curled his ears around his body and scooted closer, his nose touching Takeru’s.

“Gabumon and I were telling you guys to calm down the entire time, but neither of you seemed to even hear us.”

Takeru swallowed hard, his throat in pain from the yelling and cough-crying. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you guys.”

Patamon shook his head. “I don’t think you were the one being mean Takeru.”

A knock happened on the door. “Takeru. Hey. Can I come in?” Yamato’s voice was soft.

Gabumon spoke up. “I promise he’s not mad anymore Takeru-kun!”

Takeru stayed silent and Patamon headbutted him gently again. “Open the door Takeru,” he whispered gently. “You guys should make up as soon as you can.”

Takeru sighed and stood up out of bed, drudging over to the door and opening it. As soon as he saw Yamato with a deeply torn face, Takeru wrapped his arms around Yamato’s body and nuzzled his face into his shirt. “I’m sorry niichan. I’m sorry.” He mumbled it over and over into Yamato’s shirt, who put his hand on the back of Takeru’s head and rubbed his hair.

“No, don’t apologize. That was on me. That was _really_ on me. I was being a total dick. I’m sorry Takeru-chan.” Yamato led Takeru over to his bed and sat him down, before pulling Takeru’s spinning desk chair around and sitting on it, facing Takeru. “Hey guys, can I have a moment alone with him?”

Gabumon’s eyes squinted in a bit of anger. “You’d better not bully him anymore Yamato.” Patamon nodded angrily.

Yamato nodded in remorse. “You don’t have to close the door all the way. I’m not gonna be a jerk.”

Gabumon pulled the door mostly shut as Patamon fluttered out into the hallway.

Yamato took a very deep breath. “You’re in love with Taichi, aren’t you?”

Takeru began crying quietly, and buried his face in his forearm. “Mhm.”

“Okay. Wow, I’m shocked I was right about that. Okay, that makes what I said…I mean I get why you were so hurt by that now. There was no excuse for me to say those things, and I’m really sorry. Really, really sorry.”

Takeru sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve before nodding. “It’s okay. Erh, uh, I forgive you, that is. You know I love you right?”

Yamato nodded. “Yeah, of course I do.” Yamato rubbed his hand on the top of Takeru’s head. “So. Taichi. How long, first of all?”

“Not very long. At least I only realized it pretty recently. I think it may have been there since I was like ten. But I didn’t start calling it a crush until like…5 weeks ago or something.” Takeru sighed loudly. “It sucks.”

“I…I wish knew earlier, but I get why you didn’t say it. You probably thought I’d be mad.”

“You kind of were.”

Yamato nodded, in shame. “Yeah, I did.” Yamato wrung his hands. “So, either way. I mean, you know you can’t date him. You know you don’t want to tell him. But now you know I know. And I’m here, okay?”

Takeru breathed deeply, looked up, and smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re here.”

“Look, you don’t need to worry about me being resentful of you, especially now that I get it. And I’m not gonna resent Taichi either.”

Takeru cocked his head and smiled. “Aw, I don’t get an ultraprotective niichan? That’s kind of sad.”

Yamato smiled and poked his forehead. “I’m supposed to be supporting you right now.”

Takeru nodded. “Hm hm, you’re doing a great job niichan! You’re little brother feels safe and loved now.”

Yamato sighed and shook his head, smiling. “Stop that.”

Takeru clapped his hands gently against his face twice. “Nope. My loving niichan is trying to make me feel better so I need to feel better.”

Yamato picked up Takeru’s tear soaked pillow and smacked him across the head with it. “God, go back to crying, happy you is unbearable.”

Takeru threw himself forward and hugged Yamato, looking up all starry eyed. “Nope. Can’t cry when niichan’s being nice.”

Yamato put his hand on Takeru’s face and clenched lightly, smirking.

“Ahck! Gah! Stop! Uncle!”


	9. Growth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This begins the timeskip

**Six years later.**

Takeru looked down at his gray, stone like broke Digivice and wept. He was in the restroom, for just a moment. And his Digivice hardened in his pocket, and now, Patamon is gone. _This is not my favorite way of spending my 20 th birthday. At least I gave Patamon a great day. We played all day, like when I was a kid. I guess I’m not anymore. _

Takeru sighed, and opened his kitchen drawer. The second one, home to paper clips, screwdrivers he doesn’t need, tape measures, old phone charges, and ice cube trays, and put his Digivice there. As soon as he closed the drawer, he opened it again, and rummaged in it, finding some clear plastic string, and hooked in on his Digivice, and put it over his neck, and swallowed hard, sucking up a sniffle.

He pounded his fist against the palm of his hand. “I’m 20. It’s time to drink. It’s time for alcohol. I couldn’t have picked a more millennial reason to start drinking.”

His smartphone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket. Caller ID revealed it was Taichi. He swiped up. “Hey Taichi, what’s up?”

“Takeru! Bud! Happy birthday!”

Takeru nodded and smiled. “Thanks, Taichi. I got a lot of Facebook messages, but you’re the 3rd person to call, right after Hikari and Yamato”

“Nice! Hey, you’re 20 now, ready to go drinking? I can take you out.”

Takeru smiled warmly. “Sure, which bar we going to? I’ll meet you there.”

“Nope, not a bar. Well, I mean, its kind of a bar. It’s a yakiniku bar. Oh, and I’m walking you there. Open your door.”

Takeru giggled. _Glad to see he still favors me._ Takeru opened his door to see Taichi smiling brightly with his eyes closed. “Hey!” When Taichi opened his eyes, they immediately turned to sympathy. He held a hand and held up Takeru’s Digivice necklace. “When’d this happen?” his voice was gentle and sympathizing.

“Probably about three minutes ago.” Takeru laughed sadly.

“Oh dude. Sorry to hear that.” Taichi walked up and hugged Takeru around the shoulders of the now, slightly shorter than him Takeru. _He kept growing, a little more than I did, so he’s got a bigger height difference now, at least I think so._ Taichi kept and arm around Takeru as he turned from the side. “We can put this off if you want.”

“Nah, lets go. Patamon wouldn’t want me to pause my life for anything.” Taichi smiled softly and warmly, and the walked off together.

The two walked down the steps of the apartment building and to the sidewalk.


	10. Yakiniku and Starting Anew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taichi does better too

“Say, Takeru, how’s your novel going? Yamato told me you wouldn’t let him read it.”

“Yeah, nope, no one gets to read it. I don’t want any criticism or praise yet, I want to try and work on it all my own, then see how people like it. If anyone even reads it, haha.”

“I’ll read it.” Taichi had turned to him and smiled. Takeru smiled warmly back.

_I haven’t thought about Taichi in a while. At least, not how I feel about him now. After he moved off to college, I definitely didn’t pine after him all that much. I assumed it went away. But now, looking at him, I guess I’m just good at putting it on pause. It’s nice to see him smile though._

“So, you’re really gonna run for Diet? You’re actually going into politics?” Takeru thought it sounded like a foreign concept.

Taichi laughed. “Don’t sound so surprised, I’m smart too.” Takeru nodded.

“I know you are, but I assumed you’d find it boring.”

“Oh it certainly is. But its what I want to do. But I’m thinking I might run for mayor of Minato first. Try and make a difference in one ward before making a difference in the entire country or world.”

Takeru couldn’t be happier that Taichi seemed so genuinely happy and pleased at this point in life. “I’m so proud of you Taichi. You’re so smart, and kind, and successful.”

Taichi looked at Takeru in disbelief, before smiling widely and blushing. “How am I successful, I don’t even know where I’m running yet.” He put his hand on Takeru’s head and ruffled it a bit. “Oh hey, turn left, its right here.” They turned the corner, and Takeru saw a sign that said “Niji Yakiniku.”

Taichi escorted him in through the left entrance, blocking his sight from the flags at the beginning of the door.

“Hey, can we have a table for two, please?” Taichi had asked the waitress up front. She nodded and smiled, before walking them over to their grill. Takeru opened his mouth but was cut off by Taichi. “Okay, two orders of loin and chuck. I also want an order of pork belly, beef tail, and squid, and can I have extra bean sprouts with mine? Oh, and my buddy here wants beef liver, pork uterus, and shell on shrimp. Extra carrots and garlic with his, okay? Then we’ll need two beers, and one bottle of brown sugar shōchū. And mirin and soy sauce, for dipping. Thanks!”

Takeru looked amused, with his mouth agape. “Wow, you actually remember my favorite yakiniku. Also, shōchū and beer? Are you drying to get me completely wasted?” Taichi looked on in faux confusion and amusement. “Now senpai, you aren’t planning on taking advantage of me are you? I’m not gonna wake up tomorrow with no cash or assets?”

Taichi laughed, from his belly, heartily. “No, of course not. I’m cutting you short at two beers and a few shots. And I’m taking you home, so I’m not gonna get hammered either.”

Takeru looked on in disbelief. “Two beers isn’t enough to get hammered on? Are you a monster, how much can you handle?”

Taichi laughed out loud. “Wow, you’ve _really_ never drank before huh? Takeru blushed. Taichi blushed at Takeru’s blushing. He had never seen it before, Takeru _never_ blushed. “Good, good,” he let loose with a smile. “Then I don’t have to lecture you.”

Takeru spoke in a teasing tone: “Lecture me, you’ve never— oh” Takeru stopped short as the waitress delivered several plates of meat and veggies, and put their drinks and sauces on the table. “Thank you~ so much~” Takeru spoke in a sing song voice. “And thank you for treating me, Taichi-san.” Taichi nodded in a pleased expression. “So as I was saying, you’ve never lectured me in my life, what are you talking about?”

Taichi smiled widely. “True.” He began putting his food on the grill, which Takeru followed suit. “I think the only time I ever wanted to lecture you was that time I thought you had a crush on Hikari. When was that, my 2nd year? 3rd year?”

“Heh,” Takeru smiled. It was so said then, but reminiscing now, its more nostalgic. _It was kind of exciting now that I think about it. Wondering if Taichi would find out I liked him._ “That was my 2nd year of Junior high, so yeah, your 2nd year in high school.”

Taichi nodded. “You know…I recently had a conversation with some of our friends about that. I’m not sure how it got brought up, but they talked to me about it.”

Takeru looked up in curiosity, slipping some pork uterus into his mouth and gnawing on it. “Oh? What friends?”

“Daisuke, Miyako, and Hikari.”

“Ah, okay. I bet it was fun to see them again. Daisuke and Miyako are just as excitable as they always have been.”

Taichi smiled warmly. “Yeah they are. And you’re just as warm as ever.” Takeru paused his chewing, actively trying to suppress a blush, before slipping some garlic into his mouth. “They actually told me something really surprising, and intriguing.”

Takeru wasn’t really all that sure what it’d be. _Daisuke probably told him he’s considering culinary school. Or Miyako’s talking about her trip to Antarctica._

“Daisuke said that that whole thing as actually about me.” Takeru looked up in shock. “That you had a crush on me when you were in middle school.” Taichi’s face was warm, but not very expressive. The slightest, barely noticeable smile was painted across his lips.

Takeru took a sip of his beer, which led to him coughing a bit. “Ughck, ehc. That’s kind of hard to get through.” Taichi giggled smacking the side of Takeru’s shoulder. “You know, Daisuke saying something doesn’t make it accurate, Taichi-san.” Takeru was smiling, trying to play it off.

Taichi took a much bigger swig of his beer. “No, it _certainly_ doesn’t. But Miyako and Hikari not denying it and then confirming it really does.”

Takeru laughed in a bit of defeat. “Well, secrets out I guess, haha.”

Taichi looked down as he popped some bean sprouts and beeftail into his mouth, chewing around the bone, before pulling the bone out of his mouth with his chopsticks. Takeru stayed weirdly quiet. “I’m kind of glad you didn’t tell me. Half of me is, anyway. Knowing that I’d had to reject you would probably made you feel miserable. But I wish you told me you liked boys. I could’ve helped you out with that.”

Takeru looked up in disbelief. “You…like boys too?”

Taichi nodded. “Yeah, I like anyone. I think that’s either pansexual or bisexual, but I really don’t know the difference.” He put on a fake, crotchety old woman voice. “I don’t get it! These new kids and their newfangled high tech sexualities! Back in my day you were straight, no matter how many lesbian marriages you had under your belt!”

Takeru and Taichi began laughing at the same time. “Wow. I guess it would’ve been nice to know someone had the same experience I guess.”

Taichi nodded. “So. Have you figured out this is a date yet?”

Takeru looked up in shock. True shock. “It…it is?”

Taichi nodded. “Yeah, look around.” Takeru looked around the bar for the first time. There was a woman with a beard, eating with some of her friends. Two men, one big and with a beard, and another, a little younger looking, wearing a pretty dress. Two drag queens. Two men eating happily in business suits. A woman in overalls eating across from a woman in a kimono, who had appeared to have recently cleaned geisha makeup off her face, with two little kids at their table.

“Taichi, is this a gay bar?”

“Well, that makes it sound like you come here to find a date. This is more like, you bring a date, or your family here. On Sundays they take alcohol off the menu and have a teen night, just for queer teens. Its kind of nice to see.”

Takeru smiled softly, taking the bottle of shōchū and cracking it open, pouring some into the two shot glasses. “I feel kind of embarrassed, and a bit honored, Taichi-san.”

Taichi giggled. “Come on now, if I take you out on a date you can’t say ‘san.’” Taichi took his shot in steed, and when Takeru did it he burst into coughing and began slamming his fist on the table. Taichi laughed. “Man, you give really skimpy shots. Hey, open up.” Taichi dipped some beef loin in the mirin before offering it to Takeru, who blushingly opened his mouth and took it from the chopsticks, smiling while chewing it.

“So,” he began, just before swallowing. “You found out I liked you and immediately decided to take me on a date?”

Taichi nodded. “I actually basically only fall in love with someone if I know they love me. Never really fell in love first.”

Takeru nodded. “W-wow…th-this…I gave up hope on this long ago. Us, going on a date.”

Taichi shook his head in exasperation. “Hey, your Crest is Hope, you can’t ever lose that, no matter how much you grow up.” Takeru nodded and smiled.

“Hey, you wanna come to my place tonight? I can help with the hangover tomorrow.” Takeru blushed and held the back of his head. “Nothing funny, Digidestined’s honor! We can lay down together, I can take care of you when you wake up tomorrow morning, and we’ll figure out what to do from there, kay?”

Takeru nodded, smiling.


	11. A Short Catchup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiny little microepilogue, just like the End of Adventure 02 lol

Takeru woke up in bed, in is birthday suit, next to Taichi. _Two_ mornings after their first date. One the first morning, he woke up completely clothed, with a killer headache. But Taichi did exactly as he said.

Takeru heard the door opening and pulled the blankets up over himself, finding a pair of underwear, whose, he wasn’t sure, but slipped it on under the covers.

“Taichi, I need to talk. I think I need to lobby for a Diet member to approve a new space…” Yamato turned to see Takeru blushingly smiling in bed, under the covers, and Taichi just now waking up.

“Huh, Yamato, what are you…” Taichi looked over to see Takeru’s face next to him, and turned back to see Yamato’s face on _fucking fire._ “Oh…h-heh.”

Takeru got punched by Yamato for the first time ever trying to block his fists from pounding a hole into Taichi’s face.

But 14 months later, it was a different tune, with Yamato as Taichi’s best man, and Hikari as Takeru’s best woman.

“Distinguished Gays make waves again at the release of Kamiya Takeru’s new novel, a teenage thriller about a Digimon that only shows up at murder scenes of a specific serial killer, while Diet Representative Kamiya Taichi pushes for a bill advocating for stricter regulation on leaving human trash in the Digital World.”

“I wish headlines would highlight your accomplishments _after_ mine, you’re the celebrity,” Taichi said, sipping his soda at his dining room table in his and Takeru’s apartment.

Takeru laughed. “Why would a celebrity be more important than a politician?”

“Most celebrities are nice.” Both laughed aloud.

“Well you’re exceptionally nice for a Diet gentleman, so I think you deserve special credit.” Takeru leaned forward and kissed Taichi on the cheek, as the two ate their ramen, with a photo of them wearing their Digivice themed suits at their wedding resting in the middle of the table.


End file.
